Since you've been gone

We made eye contact, he quickly glanced towards the girl by his side, guiltily. He whispered something in her ear, she looked at me, pity in her eyes, and motioned for him to go. I don't want her pity. I want him.

i tried to ignore him, them. I quickly glanced the other way and tried to find a customer who needed help, there were none. I knew he was coming towards me, I could smell the familiar scent of his cologne, the one I used to spray on his old t-shirts and wear home. The ones I snuggled with still, reaching for the memories of when we were happy together.

"Hey" he said in a quiet voice, judging my reaction. I looked at him, into his eyes, eyes that I used to stare into, eyes that were so brown they were almost black. "Hi" I said back. Not wanting to say more, I wasn't sure I could, not without tears. We looked at each other for what seemed like hours, but was only a minute, maybe less. "Well it was nice seeing you" I said and tried to walk away. He grabbed my arm, his rough hands grazing my palm, making my heart beat faster. " I am sorry" he whispered, then let me go. I turned the other way to hide my tears. I waited until i was sure he was gone then ran to the bathroom. I cried. 

Where I lay alone

With one thought in mind

Memories

Broken with a missing piece

You should be right next to me

Holding, kissing, loving

Whisper in my ears

Your words of love

Now is just an echo

Deep down in my mind

My heart is shaking

Scared and ready to surrender

Sweet emotion

One sensation

I long for

Come back

Quiet behind me

Put your hand in mine

Save me.

Weekend Wonders

I love roadtrips. I am going on a roadtrip this weekend. I am going to try to remember to bring my camera. I am also going to bring my ipad, yes I jumped into the hype, and I am going to write. I am going to write about the colors I see. The sounds I hear. The flowers I smell. Everything. Then I am going to take a picture of them. I am going to compare them and see if I get the same thing from the words that I do the pictures. I am going to see if the pictures compare to the words. 

I wish I was half the writer as some of those people on blogs are around here. They are so amazing! It makes me feel so mediocre. I am not going to school for writing, sometimes I regret that, other times it's a relief. I would be feeling anxious all the time that I didn't have the assignment because I didn't know what to write, or it wasn't up to par with what the other students are handing in, or I am just really, really critical of myself and I would not hand it in for fear that I would fail. For now I will stick with my analyzations and I will write on the side. Who knows maybe I can write some psychology thrillers. I love a good horror story.

Doute

A poem I wrote in french class. I am trying to concentrate, and I can't. I have so many thoughts running through my head. Why aren't I a better writer. Why am I all alone. Am I all alone. I need to go out in the sun and just run, just run far away. Running always, always clears my head. I feel my heart pounding. My breathing becomes heavy. I feel the adrenaline kick in. My feet pounding the earth with each step i take. It frees me.

Je ne sais que faire

Je me lance ou pas ?

Notre amitié est-elle assez forte pour y survivre ?

On me dit que oui.

On me dit que tu vas être super gentil avec moi,

Et que peut-être sa avancera

Et que peut-être même, tu t'en doutes

Si je prends trop mon temps,

Je perdrai peut-être ma chance

Je vais m'attacher encore plus

Et plus je risque de me faire mal…

Je fais quoi alors…

My First Day!!!

So I read so many other people's blogs, I thought that maybe I should start my own. I want to be more creative, and I want to write more. I do not write nearly enough about anything. Maybe this will motivate me. This is going to be short, it's really late here, but there will be more tomorrow!